Kelly's Highlights from the 2011 Boring Academy Boring Awards

My favorite parts of the Oscars were over even before the ceremony began. Which should say something about the dull mess that was this year's show. Gah. Lessons learnt: a) Treasure the years when Quentin Tarantino has a movie in the running. b) Even the wonderful Mark Ruffalo and Helena Bonham Carter cannot save you from monotony. c) My weird abhorrence of James Franco's vapid smile was completely justified.

Can't wait for next year already.

Favorite Part 1:

Ryan Seacrest, to Melissa Leo: "That's some dress... I can see myself in it."

He meant because it was embroidered with little spangly mirror things that reflected his face. But for a few seconds I thought he was discreetly coming out of the closet or something.

Favorite Part 2:

Josh Hutcherson (from Kids are All Right), to Ryan Seacrest, about how much he admires Christian Bale's dedication to acting: "He goes hard."

Even without my filthy Christian Bale mind, that joke stands alone. It writes itself.

Favorite Part 3:

Mandy Moore's pretty dress. Looks like she's growing moon dust on her skin like mould. God I made that sound disgusting, but I meant it in the prettiest way possible.



Favorite Part 4:

The fact that one person decided to take a risk on their dress and that person happened to be this person whose presence always makes me joyous and will never look bad in anything in her entire life.



Oh yeah fine Bale won something and cried yay whatever happy.