Weary

It's a month to production and I can honestly say I've been wrung dry.

When we did our pieces way back then, was it this bad? Having to go down every single day; feeling like you're no way near the desired outcome anyhow. Having run the lines so many times you lose the joy in the part and the meaning of what you say? Was it like that? I don't remember it to be so.

The publicity shots came out yesterday. Objectively the poster does look good, all colourful and psychedelic and happy and disneylike. They magically bequeathed a bountiful bust onto me. But looking at how much I've (literally) bared for this production, I wonder if it's too much. I do feel like it's too much.

I am upset - that in so many ways I've given up so much of myself for this that there's nothing much left in my for anything or anyone anymore, and I slowly see what's most important to me take a backseat because the pressing thing in my life is just consuming me to the maddest extent. That's one of the worst struggles huh, deciding on what's important and what's urgent.

Sorry for the emovomit guys. Just feel like time things are passing by so fast I barely have time to comprehend or feel anything. So when I do, bam, it hits hard.